Tuesday, June 29, 2010


Before my girl roommate was my roommate, she was my friend who was dating my roommate. They've had a tumultuous on/off relationship for the past 2 years, basically as long as I've known them. They are both my friends, so whether they were on or off, I never took sides. Just call me Switzerland. Last week, Germany started bombing Switzerland out of the blue. It's hard to remain neutral when being attacked. I can't say I'm totally impartial because I'm hurt. But rather than attack back, I've given her space, and then yesterday, offered her my continued friendship, which, she doesn't seem to want. I can't make her like me. I can't make her treat me well. All I can do is continue to treat her as a friend and maybe she'll eventually realize she's the only one fighting. I can hope.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Rainbow Connection

I love the last Saturday of the month. That's birthday night at our club. We all get together and potluck and listen to people celebrate years of sobriety. Nothing cheers me up faster than listening to success stories from people like me. That's where a lot of my hope comes from. A little over two years ago, I thought I was irretrievably broken. I had no hope that anything would change, let alone get better. But everything changed and everything got better.

Tonight as I was leaving my meeting, I saw the most amazing full double rainbow. Unfortunately, my iPhone camera was not able to capture the whole thing, especially as I was driving (good thing I didn't sign that distracted driver pledge for 9 News. I am a hypocrite no more). But I did get the picture above. I choose to see it as a good omen.

Now off to bed. I'm off to Greeley tomorrow to watch my friend Larry compete in the demolition derby. He has promised not to catch on fire like last year, though if he does, I have promised to get lots of pictures of the car engulfed in flames, unlike last year, when I was too alarmed about my friend being on fire to keep clicking away. Life events keep reminding me that I really need to work on kicking myself into gear when trauma arises.

Friday, June 25, 2010

The Good, the Bad and the Seriously??

Today was professionally awesome but personally kind of crappy. Let me elaborate:

I'm going through midterms at school. The scary one for me was practicum. Here's the deal: I'm going to be a rad tech, what used to be called an x-ray tech(think flight attendant/stewardess). Anyway, a lot of it is book learning in the beginning. (Want me to tell you about body tissues? Gotcha covered.) But once a week we learn how to perform various imaging procedures(from hereon called x-rays even though my prof would kill me because my p key is sticking, and I have to hit it with purpose and it's really pissing me off- there were a lot of p's in that explanation) What the hell was I talking about?

Ah, practicum. So today, to test us, we had to, in essence, perform a randomly chosen exam on a classmate. I was lucky enough to draw a wrist and stay the hell away from the dreaded wall bucky (see image at right). Long story short, I knocked that practicum the hell out of the park. This is awesome because it means I might actually be proficient at my newly chosen profession and this won't be a waste like my teaching certificate.

Now the bad. I threw myself a nice little "nobody likes me" pity party this afternoon because my boyfriend was too busy playing blackjack last night to talk to me after he had been too busy doing what the hell it is he does in Tucson all day to talk to me. Then this morning my girl roommate decided not to speak to me.

Let me rant about the silent treatment for a minute. What good does it do? How can I fix anything if I don't know what you're mad about?

So by talking to my boy roommate, I figured out what she's mad about. It's her issue. She's just taking it out on me. Which is really not okay with me. But what can I do. It has been repeatedly pounded into my head that I cannot control other people.

So what can I do? I prayed a lot last night and my behavior got better with the boyfriend. Sure the last thing I said to him on the phone last night was "fuck you" before hanging up, but I've been civil all day in our texts...after the praying. I see the logic in pause when agitated. Because now I owe him a freaking amends. I hate making freaking amends. I live my life in a way that I don't have to make many freaking amends.

As for my roommate, when she decides to speak to me, I'll deal with her. Until then, I just have to conduct myself well and pray for her. :)

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Rachel's Bitchin Blog

In honor of my good friend Nathan, who wanted my title to be Rachel's Bitchin Blog, I'll kick things off with a little negativity.

My list of products I will NOT be buying, because their commercials are so annoying:
1) Huggies diapers that look like denim. That song makes me want to kick babies
2) Anything Qwest tries to sell me because paranoid guy is even more annoying than Sir Chirps A Lot
3) Champion Windows because that woman screeches about everything

Now my random list of TV related things I love:
1) Jane Lynch on Glee...or anywhere, but especially on Glee
2) The OCD Project on VH1. Where can I get a job trying to scare obsessive-compulsive people straight?
3) Judge Judy. She says all the things I never got to say as a flight attendant and which I will also not get to say as a Rad Tech.

My public service announcement for the week:
If you plan to insert an aerosol can into your body rectally, make sure you do not insert the spray end first. That nozzle will most likely get depressed, which will result in sepsis and death.

And since I should be studying for my Med Terms midterm, here is the word of the day:
hysterosalpingo-oophorogram: radiographic image of the uterus, uterine tubes and ovaries