Saturday, October 8, 2011
Today I completed a 5k obstacle course (www.devildash.com). The notable part is not that I completed a 5k, but that it was an obstacle course. Before today, I wouldn't have done that. I am not what most people consider coordinated. I'm clumsy, awkward, nonathletic and hate being dirty. Today, as I climbed over a 30 foot obstacle to rappel down the other side, I realized that I have had what the Big Book refers to as a complete psychic change. Before I quit drinking and worked the steps, I was paralyzed by fear. I still have fear. The difference is that I don't allow it to stop me from living my life anymore. Was I the most athletic person there? Not even close. Was I the least coordinated person there? Quite possibly. But my deep seated fear of not being the best at everything I do was mostly absent today. For most of my life, if I couldn't do it perfectly, I wouldn't do it. The race I ran today was not perfect. But I did my best. And I did every obstacle. And I completed the race. And I had so much fun. And I finally understand that that is the point of life. It's not about being the best. It's about enjoying myself. On that note, I suggest you go to youtube and search for Phoebe running. Because that's my new life philosophy.