Relationships are hard...for me at least. For probably a million whiny psycho-therapy reasons. This last one wasn't bad. Good guy, out of town half the time. That was good for me. I like having someone around but I also really like my alone time. When he was gone, I didn't feel guilty about studying. When he was here, I always felt like I was either neglecting him or neglecting school. And I had a constant level of background guilt for the week he was in town. Well, his out of town gig just ended and when faced with him being in town all the time, I think I panicked. I have no idea how to balance the relationship and school and I picked school. I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. But I don't know how else to live. Over the course of my four years as a flight attendant and his last year of travel, I haven't had to have a "full time" relationship. I don't even know if I'm capable of it. In a year, when school is over, I'll be starting a new career. Will I make time then?
This is a clearing house for my brain. I have no idea what will come out but I think it can all be categorized as experience, snark or hope. Good luck trying to categorize me, Google.
Friday, April 8, 2011
Another One Bites the Dust
Relationships are hard...for me at least. For probably a million whiny psycho-therapy reasons. This last one wasn't bad. Good guy, out of town half the time. That was good for me. I like having someone around but I also really like my alone time. When he was gone, I didn't feel guilty about studying. When he was here, I always felt like I was either neglecting him or neglecting school. And I had a constant level of background guilt for the week he was in town. Well, his out of town gig just ended and when faced with him being in town all the time, I think I panicked. I have no idea how to balance the relationship and school and I picked school. I honestly don't know if I did the right thing. But I don't know how else to live. Over the course of my four years as a flight attendant and his last year of travel, I haven't had to have a "full time" relationship. I don't even know if I'm capable of it. In a year, when school is over, I'll be starting a new career. Will I make time then?
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I totally know how you feel.
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